Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Bye bye brain cells

Some people remember faces and the names that go with them. Some people remember birthdays after only one mention several months before the date. And some people remember important details about their lives and past experiences well enough to write books about them. Some people, when it comes right down to it, remember things worth remembering. Not me. The only thing I remember with any accuracy are songs, rhymes, stories---really anything with a catchy rhythm--and I remember them forever. I'd say the vast majority of my brain cells are inextricably bound up in remembering everything from a silly song I learned in third grade (Can I remember my third grade teacher's name? Not on your life.) to the book "The Sneetches" by doctor Suess.

I quote:

"Now the star belly sneetches had bellies with stars. The plain belly sneetches had none upon thars. Those stars weren't so big they were really so small you might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all. But because they had stars all the star bellied sneetches would brag: We're the best kind of sneetch on the beaches. With their snoots in the air they would sniff and they'd snort...." I could transcribe the whole thing without peeking.

And I could do this with numerous books: Epossumondus, all of the nursery rhymes in Rosemary Wells nursery rhyme collection *in order*, all of the Sandra Boynton books, Here's a Little Poem, etc. And about the only purpose my memory has ever served is that I can recite these stories and verses to Fintan when we're waiting in the Doctor's office or driving down the street and kid-music isn't cutting it. But that will only work for me, and rarely at that, for as long as my boys are preschoolers and LIKE these stories and verses. After that I'm sure they'll pay me to keep them to myelf. So really, I just wish my extremely spotty but otherwise picture perfect memory would work for...I dunno, the greater good?

Because if I'm going to be tortured I want it to be for the greater good. And yes, it IS torture. Take this song for example. Do you think I could just memorize it and go on my merry way? Of course not. If I so much as roll over at night and barely perk into semi consciousness I hear: "HERE'S A LLAMA THERE'S A LLAMA AND ANOTHER LITTLE LLAMA, FUZZY LLAMA, FUNNY LLAMA, LLAMA LLAMA DUCK!

I get up to nurse my baby at 2 a.m. and I drop my head back against the chair, relax and snuggle my tiny boy and it's: LLAMA LLAMA CHEESECAKE LLAMA TABLET BRICK POTATO LLAMA, I hope he goes back to sleep for a few hours I WAS ONCE A TREEHOUSE, I LIVED IN A CAKE oh, I have to remember to sign up for story time tomorr--BUT I NEVER SAW THE WAY THE ORANGE SLAYED THE RAKE. I hope the boys feel better soon IS IT MADE OF LEMON JUICE? DOORKNOB, ANKLE, COLD, okay fine, I give up, DID YOU EVER SEE A LLAMA KISS A LLAMA ON THE LLAMA---

It's sheer unadulterated torture. And my brain will continue to do this to me until all of the important synapses are so tangled around these songs that they will remain with me long after I've spiraled into dementia (I don't do crossword puzzles so I'm doomed) and can't remember my own grandchildren's names. Just know, grandchildren of the future, I do love you dearly and I WISH I could free up some brain cells on your behalf.

Leah, I blame you.

Now it's TIME FOR ME TO RETIRE NOW AND BECOME A DUCK.

14 comments:

Dawn said...

If you do end up with dementia, you will be the most fun demented grandmother a grandchild could ask for! Everytime they go see you, you'll put them on your lap and sing a song or recite the sneetches. What grandchild wouldn't love that? ;)
Seriously I wish I could remember THAT kind of stuff, but I wouldn't want it going through my head at all hours...eek!
And if it makes you feel better, I'm sure you have told me Pat's b-day once...and I have no idea when it is. ;) Yours I belive (without peeking) is Oct. 16th, F's: 9/14 and C:6/24. :P And I really don't think that information will be very fun for MY grandkids when I am visited in the retirement center!

Dawn said...

By the way I LOVE "The Glass Castle"! One of my favorites!

Alina said...

Lol, Dawn, and I'll probably do it in a high-pitched quavery voice and I'll smell like brown gravy and bleach. But you're right, it could be worse. ;)

WTG on the birthdays! I've already forgotten yours...just sayin. ;)

And I LOVED the Glass Castle too. I'll reread that one someday for sure. Oh! That's the one GREAT thing about my horrible memory. I can reread favorite novels a year or so later and be surprised all over again. :)

starfitch said...

Hey, I got linked! :-) While your mind is doing that, mine is racing over things I want to do, how to do them, what I'll need to do them...it's exhausting. I'd prefer a repetitive preschool song any day.

And I must have read the wrong book...I HA-TED the Glass Castle. I think I've only said that about two books I've read, and that's one of them. Blech.

Christine said...

First, what Dawn said. Second, Rudolph didn't like his nose at first, and then it totally saved the entire world's Christmas one Christmas eve. So don't knock this rare and wonderful talent; you will one day realize how your special ability will help the world too.

Leah said...

Oh, they are all different, by the way. You must click on my name every single time it is underlined. The second one on that same comment board might be my favorite--"Do you want to go for a walk, or do you want to go to bed?" (which doesn't sound very funny here but it is *hilarious*).

Tara Louise said...

oH my GOD I just laughed so hard at your post I was snorting and crying all together. Oh. Phew. Jeez. In need to wipe my eyes. And my nose.

Do that again. That was great.

brooke said...

I am cracking up at you, and at Dawn's comment about dementia!!

I remember stupid, stupid stuff like who had on what outfit when. Ugh. Pointless!

SaRaH said...

Don't fear dementia as I can't help but notice just how demented your family and friends are. And Chris, that Rudolph analogy was absofreakinlutely touching. And apt.

Alina said...

Jess, really? I'm interested. Why did you hate the glass castle? Her parents were awful parents, but the story was so well written and Jeannette is really inspiring to me. I'd love to hear your take!

Chris, you're so sweet. :) I'll take a Rudolph comparison any day. When I help the world by singing or reciting something inane can I have a big glisteny medal to wear around afterward?

Yeah, Leah, I saw that one too and it was very cute. It did not consume my mind, however. Please just link to cute tilty head dogs in future, hmmmm?

Tara, you are the only person who would laugh that hard at that post. And I love you for it.

Brooke, I don't give you much fodder for your talent! "Hmmm, that outfit again, oh and again aaaaan again. Oh this time she's wearing a DIFFERENT sweater, same jeans though....;)

Sarah, you should know how demented my friends are, you demented friend you.

Gosh, I love my family and friends. :)

Doesn't love a wall said...

I think that's awesome! I have always had a knack for memorizing but my list isn't so condusive to Madda. Um "the Bells" by Edgar Allan Poe or maybe "The Raven" the opening to Romeo and Juliet. I can see her walking in to first grade saying "Two houseolds, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona where we lay our scene..."

Alina said...

Ooh ooh, Erin, I swing that way, too.

Man of La Mancha:

"I will impersonate a man. His name: Alonso Quihana, a country gentleman no longer young. Being retired, he has much time for books. What he reads oppresses him, fills him with indignation for man's murderous ways towards man. He ponders the problem how to make better a world where evil brings profit and virtue none at all. He lays down the melancholy burden of sanity and sallies forth to roam the world, in search of adventure, to right all wrongs, to raise up the weak and those in need. No longer will he be known as Alonso Quihana, but a dauntless knight known as DON QUIHOTE DE LA MANCHA!

Oh, I'm singing now. Are you singing Leah? Tara? Lalove? Heather? Gavin? Dad?

lalove said...

Hilarious. I WAS SINGING!

Anonymous said...

I also loved the llama song. It didn,t get stuck in my circuits cause I already had something else stuck there. Something off my ipod. But now after reading all this I have stuff from Man of La Mancha going round and round. "Don't you see what your gentle insanities do to me, rob me of anger and leave me dispair. Blows and abuse I can take and give back again...." and on and on.
So thanks a lot Alina. (dad)