Yoo hoo--it's Memorial Day

I've been a busy little garden bee lately. I'm dividing, planting, watering, sowing seeds, weeding, creating paths and so on and so forth. I went to a plant swap a couple of weeks ago where I learned about a new Yahoo group that facilitates year round plant-swapping in central Indiana. Of course, I joined. And I needed to divide some irises and ferns so I offered the extras up to the group. Today four people came to pick up plants.

Being Memorial Day, I was already thinking of my mom more than usual. Her name was Carol. She passed away in 2003. The first woman who came to pick up plants today was also named Carol. I thought that was a crazy coincidence seeing as how I can't even remember the last time I met someone named Carol. Then two other nice ladies came by for plants. And then the fourth showed up and it turned out that her name was Carol as well. So 50% of the people who came to my house today were named Carol. I think it was my mom's way of reminding me to remember her today.

Then, after all the swapping was over, I emailed the first Carol to thank her for the plants she'd given me, and for some toys she'd added to the mix, and mentioned the crazy coincidence of the names. She emailed back to say that the coincidence went even further. She and her mom shared a favorite flower: the iris, specifically a type they grew when she was a young girl. She also lost her mom in 2003 and always wanted to go back to the house where she grew up to ask for some of the irises there to remember her by, but she never got up the nerve to do so. Since they're an old-fashioned iris variety they aren't available in garden centers anymore. But it turns out that the type I gave her today was identical to the irises in her childhood garden. So when she looks at them she'll be reminded of her mom.

So both of us got to be reminded of our moms in such appropriate ways. It's JUST like my mom to wave her ethereal fingers and say "Yoo hoo! Remember me? Carol? Your loving mother? *tap tap* Is this thing on?"

I remember you, Mom. I think about you often. I'm going to be sure to pass on your pearls of wisdom to my boys, too. Things like: "Don't eat with your fingers--eat with your thumbs." and "If life were fair we'd all have our turn in Ethiopia." I miss you. I love you. So, so much.

For his parents

After losing a child it must be hard even to look your spouse in the eye, don't you think? And how tired must Dante's parents be? After a year driving hours back and forth to the hospital each week, or even each day, for blood, platelets, tests and treatments. After spending their holidays, and many weeks and months before that, in tiny box-shaped room on uncomfortable hospital pull-out beds to give your dying son and his older siblings the best Christmas you can manage under the circumstances? Then to have to make the drive home after Dante died with an empty car seat in the back seat? It's just too much to even imagine enduring.

His parents have handled themselves with more grace than I could muster with even a splinter in my foot. His dad posted a message today, about the last moments of his son's life that were inspiring as well as heartbreaking (if anyone would like the link to read it, please email me and I will be happy to share it).

Now the group we created to support Dante and his family are pooling our funds together one more time to try to give his parents time away, somewhere far away, to reconnect and rest. I'm not soliciting money, but I though that some of you who have been impacted by their story might like to contribute to the cause. If ever I dip one toe into their shoes in my imagination (where it is very hard for me to go) I know that this could be the single most important gift we ever give them.

If anyone would like to contribute, the Paypal address is "helpfordante@live.com". Thank you.

On glorious wings

Dante earned his angel wings this morning at 8:33 a.m. In my heart I see him now up in a blue sky, with a strong little body and wide, laughing eyes, flying kites with his big brother John.

We all will miss you so, sweet boy.

Please keep his Mama and Daddy in your thoughts and prayers today. Their grief must be unbearable.