Monday, May 25, 2009

Yoo hoo--it's Memorial Day

I've been a busy little garden bee lately. I'm dividing, planting, watering, sowing seeds, weeding, creating paths and so on and so forth. I went to a plant swap a couple of weeks ago where I learned about a new Yahoo group that facilitates year round plant-swapping in central Indiana. Of course, I joined. And I needed to divide some irises and ferns so I offered the extras up to the group. Today four people came to pick up plants.

Being Memorial Day, I was already thinking of my mom more than usual. Her name was Carol. She passed away in 2003. The first woman who came to pick up plants today was also named Carol. I thought that was a crazy coincidence seeing as how I can't even remember the last time I met someone named Carol. Then two other nice ladies came by for plants. And then the fourth showed up and it turned out that her name was Carol as well. So 50% of the people who came to my house today were named Carol. I think it was my mom's way of reminding me to remember her today.

Then, after all the swapping was over, I emailed the first Carol to thank her for the plants she'd given me, and for some toys she'd added to the mix, and mentioned the crazy coincidence of the names. She emailed back to say that the coincidence went even further. She and her mom shared a favorite flower: the iris, specifically a type they grew when she was a young girl. She also lost her mom in 2003 and always wanted to go back to the house where she grew up to ask for some of the irises there to remember her by, but she never got up the nerve to do so. Since they're an old-fashioned iris variety they aren't available in garden centers anymore. But it turns out that the type I gave her today was identical to the irises in her childhood garden. So when she looks at them she'll be reminded of her mom.

So both of us got to be reminded of our moms in such appropriate ways. It's JUST like my mom to wave her ethereal fingers and say "Yoo hoo! Remember me? Carol? Your loving mother? *tap tap* Is this thing on?"

I remember you, Mom. I think about you often. I'm going to be sure to pass on your pearls of wisdom to my boys, too. Things like: "Don't eat with your fingers--eat with your thumbs." and "If life were fair we'd all have our turn in Ethiopia." I miss you. I love you. So, so much.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Explaining myself

I know I don't have to explain myself. We all have busy lives. But I want to share a little of what's been going on over here. The truth is, I'm happy. After the longest time of not being able to really say that. To really FEEL happy, I'm happy. For a while I thought I'd never be able to feel joy again. I loved my kids, I loved my husband, I loved my home and my life, but I just could not seem to make myself smile. So I started taking an antidepressant about a month ago and the difference it's made is astounding. I have energy. I can smile. I can play. I can do work--even housework--and not feel like I'm drowning in it. It's a good feeling. I've been reveling in it. That's where I've been lately. Reveling.

If you feel like your drowning in your life, please give antidepressants a try. Your loved ones will thank you for it.